when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
