Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
