Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
