Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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