I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
