She said her name was "party"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize