My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
