dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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