If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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