My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
