he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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