sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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