quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sext me about skeletons
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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