I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize