Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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