you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
