the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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