She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
