Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
