if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
