Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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