She's JV to your varsity
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Be still, my beating vagina.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
