Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
