Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
