Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
