her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
