He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
