im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do herpes really smell.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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