Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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