I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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