I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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