The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
