I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
