just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
