A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize