she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
