We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
