I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
