Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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