ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
