He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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