I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
