i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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