its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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