We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
