she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
