is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
