Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
