toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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