Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
