Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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