we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
