i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ugly people sure do ruin things
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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