He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We are all done wearing pants today
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
