Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
