why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
