Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
