dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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