dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
