i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
