I wanna bring you to show and tell
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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