She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize