Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
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You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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