Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My feet surprised me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
