After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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