I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
